


Uncomfortably Numb

by LevisJam



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Help, ME - Freeform, Sad, Self-Harm, anymore, idk - Freeform, lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 03:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9105331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LevisJam/pseuds/LevisJam
Summary: Luciel the depressed smol bean, and Yoosung to save the day~





	

**Author's Note:**

> First fanfic on this site wheeee enjoy~  
> Read at your own risk lol it's seriously triggering, i swear I'm not sad lol this is just what happens when you stay up till 4 in the morning haha

“Help me.. Please, I’m begging someone, anyone! Just put me out of my misery, I can’t take it anymore I’m just so done with everything, I want to DIE!” I cried into my hands, tears uncontrollably falling down my face, the silent room around me served as a reminder that I will always be alone.  
“JUST KILL ME!!” I screamed to no one, letting my emotions take over and determine my actions. That was definitely a mistake, but I just couldn’t help what I had done next. Yanking up the sleeves of my hoodie, I traced my fingers along the old cuts that have long-since healed, but proved that scars never fade. I couldn’t stop crying, I couldn’t be happy, I couldn’t even fake my smiles anymore. I immideitly stood up from my desk, and briskly walked over to the bathroom. Making no haste, I grabbed a razor and smashed it until the blades fell out, gleaming in the dim light, almost daring me to make a mistake. Challenge accepted, more or less.  
“What’s a few more..” I muttered to myself, wiping tears out of my eyes. Brandishing the thin blade like a knife, I tentatively placed it at my wrist. Tightly closing my eyes, I forcibly slashed it open. Old memories came back, my state continued to deteriorate, I had completely lost my mind at this point. Within minutes, I was up to my elbows soaked in blood. I gazed at my arms fearfully, disappointed yet satisfied by what I had done. I could have stood by the sink for hours, watching my blood pool, feeling myself getting lightheaded and dizzy. Once I finally regained a bit of my sanity, and realized what I’ve done, I panicked. Yanking open drawers, scouring cabinets for band aids, I found a role of medical tape and gauze. That’d have to do, I guess.  
“Damn..” I hissed, as the feel of gauze against open wounds sent burning flares up my arms. The blood would just not stop, I was terrified that someone would walk in and see what I had done and freak out… and abandon me. That thought had brought me to my knees, made me tear up, and next thing I knew, I was curled up on the corner of my bed, bawling my eyes out again. The pain from the cuts only added to the hole in my heart, one that hurt more than any other wound. A heartache is the most unbearable wound, the most painful.  
“P-please, s-someone just k-kill me p-please..” I sobbed into my hands. I was so overcome by tears and numbness, I didn’t even hear the knocking on my bedroom door. I didn’t even get up to go and open it, I didn’t even try to stop crying. I was sick of faking everything, I simply didn’t care anymore.  
“Luciel, it’s me, Yoosung, please open the door..” I heard a voice beg on the other side. I ignored it, abstinently. Eventually it stopped, and after a few clicks, the door swung open, revealing a shocked and surprised Yoosung. He ran over to me, observing my state.  
“Luciel, what’s wrong?! What happened?!” He cried, placing his hands on my shoulders. I looked up, presenting red-eyed and tearstained me.  
“Y-yoosung..” I whimpered, shrinking back into the corner, as if I could hide away forever. I couldn’t though. Tears cascaded down my blotchy cheeks, I tucked my arms closer, yelping at the stinging sensation it brought.  
“Oh Luciel..” He murmured, gently taking my hands, and examining the sloppy work I made of blood and gauze. Yoosung said nothing as he stood up, walking over to the bathroom, returning with more gauze.  
“Just take a deep breath for me please.. I’m not upset I promise, just hold still for a moment..” Yoosung sighed, reaching for my arm again. I flinched away. I had no intentions on letting him see what I’ve done, I went too far this time..  
“Please Luciel.. I just want to help, at least let me take care of you..” He said, nearly whispering. With shaky hands, he unwrapped the bandages I’d put on before, making quick work of it. When he saw the open wounds, I swear I had seen the heartbreak on his face, bringing me to tears once again. I hurt someone. That very thought just sent me over the edge, I couldn’t stand what I’ve done. He gently held my arm, gazing at the cuts with teary eyes.  
“Luciel.. Why?” he said, holding back his tears. I just sat there, crying like an idiot about the stupidest things, being torn apart by things I should have overcome long ago.  
“I’m s-so s-sorry..” I whimpered, and hung my head. He gently grabbed my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. His beautiful, forgiving expression was almost too much for me.  
“It’s ok, it’s going to be ok, I promise. It’s going to be ok. I won’t even make you tell me what happened, I need to be here for you right now. It’s going to be ok..” he said, and begin wrapping my arms with gauze, as I sat there crying my heart out. He brought my hand to his lips, kissing it gently, as I buried my face into my other arm, unable to stop the tears that fell.  
I’m broken. I’m just so broken inside. The puzzle pieces of my heart have worn down to the point where they don’t connect anymore, I think I’ve finally broke. I’ve finally succumbed to the endless tears. I’m comfortably numb, with this uncomfortably slow death by depression. My soul’s been shattered, the pieces have been scattered. I don’t think I’ll even begin to try and put myself back together..  
“Yoosung..” I sobbed. My head hurt so much from crying, the blood loss was taking it’s toll on me. For a second, I believed that this was how I was going to die. He managed a warm smile, and embraced me in a hug.  
“Every little thing.. is gonna be alright..” He sang softly, tightening his grip on me.  
“All this pain.. don’t mean a thing.. just close your eyes... and take a breath..” his voice soothed me. I slowly felt myself melting into his warm body.. I almost felt at peace for a moment.  
“Just breath.. It’s all ok.. I’m here right now.. I’ll set you free..” He whispered, easing my sorrows. It may have been minutes, hours, but eventually, the tears had stopped, and I felt content. Warm and safe, I had found a moment’s peace in Yoosung's arms. I’d never been this comfortable, in the embrace of someone else. I think I liked it.. I wasn’t sure. I was never fond of physical contact but.. I just wasn’t sure. He eventually let me go, still smiling. I rubbed my eyes, and looked down, ashamed.  
“Hey Luciel.. I’m sorry that things had gotten so aweful, and that no one even noticed. Don’t feel bad about what you’ve done. It’s ok, everyone relapses an old habit once or twice, you haven’t let anyone down or disappointed anyone. Don’t feel ashamed, it’s ok. Your going to get better. You will be happy, I promise. I’m always going to be here for you, come to me if you feel self-destructive, if you ever need to talk, if you ever need to cry. You can count on me.” He said, taking my hands. “Your going to be ok.”


End file.
